Being an Oilfield wife is not easy. It can be stressful dealing with the difficult schedules of our Oilfield Men. The following are 7 rules that I believe are necessary to maintain a good relationship while dealing with the pressures of an oilfield marriage.
1. Do not resent your husband for leaving. Ever. It is not easy for him. You are left alone with the all responsibilities, but it’s not like he’s leaving on vacation. Neither of you have the “easy” job, you are both essentially taking one for the team — so you need to be a team. Both jobs are equally hard and sacrificial (in different ways). And the opposite is true, too. He should never be resentful of you “getting” to stay home…..we know it’s no piece of cake! If there is resentment on either side, as harsh as this sounds, I would recommend finding a different line of work. The OF may not be for you. Resentment leads to broken marriages/relationships – and no job is worth that.
2. Accept your emotions. It is OK to be sad when he leaves, EVERY time he leaves. You never need to act like it’s easy. It will get easier. It will become routine. But it will always be hard, that never changes. Give some extra cuddles to the kids (or pets, or whatever your case may be) and just be sad together.
3. You are permitted to stay in your pjs and feed your kids graham crackers and peanut butter for dinner. This is totally fine…..once (maybe twice) per hitch. ‘Nuff said.
Jenna has been an oilfield wife for as long as she’s been a wife. Her husband, Les, started working in the oilfield a few months before they were married, and that was over 10 years ago. The oilfield has lead them all the way from Northern CO to Alaska, where they’ve lived in Wasilla for two years. Les is a Hot Oil Operator and works a two on/two off schedule at the North Slope. The family consists of their two children; daughter Lauryn, age 8, and son Lincoln, 5. And of course what family would be complete without a couple of dogs thrown in the mix, Willy and Fudge. Jenna is a stay at home mom who doesn’t “stay at home” much, and enjoys gardening, baking, cake decorating, reading, watching movies, four wheeling, hiking, fishing, and LOVES shopping. Since moving to the last frontier they have also started home schooling, which is another adventure all it’s own.